Hi buddy,
Siguro nakapagtataka na yung absence namin ni Dis from CNN. Well, the truth of the matter is that it's essentially the same reason why I stopped last year. I didn't feel it was proper to go on in a mailing list where some of the participants do not know how to conduct themselves. You were pissed at me because I seemed not to care enough to give you regular updates. Well, if you don't mind too much, pwede bang ikaw na lang ang padadalhan ko ng balita every now and then?
Dis has called it quits. He's very frustrated and disappointed in the childish behavior of the others. Every time he writes, it's always considered 'lambastos fodder'. I don't care if you consider it an 'alternate reality', because that's a whole crock of bullshit. That's the only reality they interact in, for one, and these people have been very rude. I don't like the CNN because of this... this is why I left. Hector, Vector, and their leader, ĝLagoon, have a different sense of social grace and etiquette. It's useless, stupid mail that, in my opinion, says nothing beyond being spiteful. I'm sorry, but I have to sympathize with Dis because I've seen it happen in my time. Dis has also expressed that there are more constructive conversationalists, that he has other friends who appreciate him. I agree. Why should he bother to write e-mail to a list where he gets no respect?
I write this to you because you're level-headed and because you understand the situation. Unfortunately, Hector, Vector, ĝLagoon, and sometimes even Pagan, are incapable of respectful dialogue. I write this to you, because you deserve to know that I have chosen to suspend all CNN activity because I no longer approve of what has become regular behavior. It can be funny sometimes, but not always. Not when you're the at the bottom of the pecking order, as Dis has been, or I have been sometimes. Your brothers and cousin are too intelligent not to be able to rationalize their behavior, and they are able to justify their abrasiveness sometimes. But in the end, who cares to listen? If they keep being rude, they will keep alienating people, as they have alienated Dis, who was patient enough to learn about them and like them and consider them friends. I'm not claiming to be the perfect friend, as I might be saying, only that I don't think it's right to be treating people the way they do. What 'that way' is, I can't say exactly. It's a general attitude towards people, it's the way they talk to them, the way they think... it's hard to explain. In fact, if they even knew about this, they would be angry and vindictive rather than apologetic. After Dis and I are finally cut off from the CNN, we would probably be the subject of tons of lambastos for months, or even years to come. It's that kind of arrogant and ostracizing attitude that has been bothering me for a long time.
I understand that you will also see their side, seeing as how you're their brother, and that you've seen them develop into what they are now. Maybe you understand them more, and that's why I write these things to you. Besides, you've never been rude to me nor Dis, and you've never been a rabid lambastos-writer, if at all. That's why I choose to keep in touch with you. I confide in you because you're a generous listener. I hope you extend me this courtesy even as I impose a ban on other people. I might write to ĝLagoon every now and then, because he's still a wonderful friend, but he won't listen if you try to dissuade him from his self-destruction. I know it's ultimately his choice, and I agree with that, but I'm very concerned about where he's headed. Ene has talked to me about her frustration with him and the way he treats his 'band'. He can be totally uncooperative a lot of the time, and keeps on being abrasive to people. He takes drugs, and if you try to tell him not to, he tells you it's none of your business.
Well, my friends, hopefully, are my business. They should be, or I wouldn't be fulfilling my obligations as a friend. I don't know. We've all grown up, I suppose, and we've gone different ways. Not irreconcilable ways, I think, but just different enough to put some distance between us. Thanks for listening, buddy.
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s a i n t
"I am truly convinced that people need to be constantly reminded of compassion."
- Natalie Portman