Lagoon
Isolating Operational Theater / CNN 786
Tue, 03 Feb 1998 00:59:21 +0800
 
Isolating Operational Theater
 
TIME: the present
PLACE: College of Chaos News
 
THE PLAYERS
AGHAM
HECTOR
JOEL
LAGOON
PAGAN
SAINT
VECTOR
 
Act I
 
Three frames divide the screen. A vertical frame to the left contains icons with different names that help organize chaosmail. The upper horizontal frame has a list of stored messages, with details like date and time of arrival. The lower and larger horizontal frame is where messages are read.

LAGOON. Puro kayo laro. One more CNN before I go to bed. Puro replies lang to.

HECTOR. Nag-bideo senshi. Ang daming kalokohan.

LAGOON. Naubos na yung unang tape. Tapos nawarat yung pangalawa. This is what you'll get when you mess with us. Bibili ako ng bagong tape sa susunod na magkaroon ako ng pera. Ilipat na natin yung magagandang parts nung unang tape sa VHS format. Edit na yung mga Forward mo na yan!

SAINT. This is a formal declaration of my intent to join the GTIV tournament tentatively scheduled for next April. This may also serve as my excommunication notice from the CNN.

LAGOON. Ano to? Gusto mong sumali sa GT IV, pero ayaw mo na kaming kausapin? Hindi ito lambastos. Paki-explain.

SAINT. (ghost-like, as if from the past) Ang dami kong gustong ibalita sa inyo, pero nag-aalangan ako. Ano ba 'yan? Buhay pa ba ang CNN? Ha? Ha? (voice returns to normal) This may also serve as my excommunication notice from the CNN.

LAGOON. (sings) I had a starring role... I was the bad guy who walked out

PAGAN. Kung yung triple-Gelgoog nga ang templant natin.

LAGOON. Magandang team ito. May gagamit ba? Ako parang gusto ko mag MG Zak team. Basta gagamitin ko yung Char's Zak ko. Kahit LuGe sa mga bagong suits. Walang pilot bonus restrictions ang GT IV.

PAGAN. Bakit naman walang Jailhousers?

SAINT. (whispered to Lagoon) Sorry I wasn't able to go to your birthday bash last Saturday. I had a wisdom tooth pulled, and it was a major operation as far as tooth operations go. I'm sorry, I wasn't even able to call because my speech is impaired (tunog nagga-gargle na ngo-ngo). I also developed a high fever later in the evening, and my jaw and cheek became inflammed (kamukha ko na lalo si Jay Leno). Ulit, very sorry.

JOEL. (whispered to Lagoon) Twebty-three years [sic] Pasensya ka na at medyo huli itong greeting ko, marami kasi akong problema at iniisip ngayon.

LAGOON. Palagi ka namang late eh. Ano pa magagawa ko? Naubos na ang pasensya ko sa iyo noon pa. Kaya nga nag DISband ang Imp eh.

AGHAM. Si Bernardino ba ay isasali sa Gundam Tournament? Kaya lang kawawa kung siya lang ang bago.

LAGOON. Natuwa lang yang si Bernie sa benepisyo ng CN. Baka pag humingi na tayo ng kung ano man sa kanya ay bigla siyang mawala. Like some people we know. (laughs) O, nagpatama na naman yung øDean.

AGHAM. Dapat panoorin ulit nang mabuti yung tape na nandoon tayong lahat at pag-usapan natin kung ano talaga ang apparently nangyari.

LAGOON. Magandang panukala. Pero paano gagawin ito? Eh yung mga materials required for this activity na ito ay naka lock sa Jailhouse.

JOEL. (ghost-like, as if from the past) Ano na ba ang nangyari sa ating lahat?

LAGOON. Ikaw na lang ang walang mail since imposition of Recovery 8th Theist Rule. Kahit si SAINT merong (if I may use your strangest of terms) non-CNN CNN. Binilang ko na ito, pero sa February 3 ay cut-off na kayo ni SAINT unless i-reverse ni SAINT ang excommunication notice niya at dumugas ka. May bukas pa.

VECTOR. So. You’re the new addition to the Jailhouse. Well. I’m Dis. Just Dis. From God to SAINT to Dis. I am his right hand, and I have a task for you. This is øLagoon, (shows a picture of Lagoon) and he is causing the Jailhouse much grief. His views do not coincide with ours, and that makes him dangerous. Silence him.
 
Curtain
 

 
øLagoon
Dean, College of Chaos

There is only one thing in the world worse than being
talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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e-mail : lagoon@college-of-chaos.net